North Carolina Divorce Lawyers in Crisis as Homosexual Threat Averted

Yesterday the U.S. state of North Carolina overwhelmingly passed a referendum which extended that state’s already existent ban on gay marriage into the its constitution – making it the 30th state in America to do so.

Today the Alliance of North Carolina Divorce Attorneys (ANCDA) announced that it will be accepting donations for an emergency relief fund designed to cushion the financial impact of  the measure – known as Amendment One  – on its members and their families.

“We were really counting on gay marriage destroying  heterosexual marriage.”

Chad Bingham – a spokesperson for the ANCDA explains that with gay marriage no longer a threat to North Carolina families the divorce industry is now in jeopardy  “With gay marriage off the table, marriage between heterosexuals is stronger than ever. We anticipate a massive drop in our divorce rates, and unemployment lines for our members”

Brad Livingstone – a divorce attorney in Raleigh – fears a drastic decline in new business, and is worried about providing for his family:

“We were really counting on gay marriage to destroy heterosexual marriage. I was thinking of buying a houseboat on the coast. Now…I don’t know…I just hope I can afford to feed my little girls next year.”

Contacted by The Daily Currant, gay rights organizations pointed out that despite the belief – apparently all too common in North Carolina –  that same sex marriage threatens heterosexual marriage, studies have found that states with sames sex marriage have lower divorce rates than states without.

Confronted with this information, Bingham was at first puzzled by the data – than hopeful:

“If this is true…my god. Keeping gays from marrying could be a gold mine for us.”


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