Hollywood actor / director / raging alcoholic Mel Gibson has been questioned by authorities following an accusation of assault at a pricey Santa Monica, CA deli.
Although Gibson had ordered a ruben with chicken soup, his waiter – a 21 year old UCLA film school student – was so star-struck he forgot to tell him that the only soup they had left was matzah ball – a traditional Ashkenazi Jewish dish:
“Do you think I look like one of them? Do you?”
“We were all out of chicken soup, but I forgot to tell him when he ordered. So I offered him a free bowl of matzah on the house. I had no idea free soup could piss someone off like that.”
When served the soup Gibson lept out of his chair and began berating the waiter:
“Do you think I look like one of them? Do you? Do you think I look like someone who shovels this Jew juice into his mouth?”
Witnesses say Gibson then pinned the young waiter up against a wall with one hand wrapped tightly around his neck. After a few seconds of squeezing, Gibson let go saying “This is your lucky day motherfucker. If I wasn’t late for a script re-write on Maccabees I would punch your Jew-loving lights out.”
Gibson has reportedly lost his agent, manager, and publicist over this latest anit-semetic incident. Analysts say he will likely never work in mainstream Hollywood again.
The American neo-nazi National Socialist Movement, however, praised Gibson’s stand against “the Jewish soup conspiracy” and invited him to direct a promotional video for their Youtube channel highlighting the threat Matzah represents to America.