Santorum Claims He Thought Grindr Was a Coffee App

Grindr SantorumFormer U.S. presidential candidate Rick Santorum has issued a statement claiming that he didn’t know what the gay dating app he downloaded to his iPhone was for when he downloaded it.

The 51 year old former senator from the state of Pennsylvania was caught Friday when during an interview with a reporter he took out his iPhone to answer an emergency call from his wife.

During the 10 second interval it took for Santorum to figure out how to answer the call, the reporter noticed the distinctive icon for Grindr – “the world’s biggest mobile network of guys” – on the conservative, catholic father of seven’s home screen.

“Is that – is that – Grindr Mr. Santorum?” the young reporter can be heard saying on videotape of the incident, “America’s number one gay dating app?”

“Grindr? What? No.The yellow one? Oh right. OK. Grindr.  Like coffee grinds. Yeah that’s something I downloaded for coffee.  It finds the nearest Starbucks.”

A review of the videotape clearly shows, however, that Santorum’s iPhone was not carrying this hypothetical app to find coffee, but rather the very real Grindr whose purpose is to “find local gay, bi and curious guys for dating or friends for free.”

Let He Who is Without Men…

Santorum is the bête noire of America’s LGBT community because of his consistently homophobic views, especially evident in his apishly retrograde 2003 interview with the Assosciated Press where he made the following remarks comparing homosexuality to incest:

“And if the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does”‘

And then added:

“That’s not to pick on homosexuality. It’s not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be.”

In response sex columnist and gay rights activist Dan Savage created a contest to redefine Santorum’s surname, which has thenceforth been known on Google as  a “frothy mixture of fecal matter and lube which is sometimes a byprouct of anal sex.”

Santorum’s statement claims that he is a “devoted father of seven and avid coffee drinker. He has no further comment.”

 

UPDATE: As some astute commenters have pointed out, this article is satire.

But although this article is fake, homophobia is very real. Please consider donating to the Human Rights Campaign to participate in the struggle for LGBT equality. Or follow that organization on Facebook or Twitter. Thank you. 

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