Obama Begins 24-Hour ‘Rocky’ Marathon

In preparation for tomorrow night’s presidential debate, U.S. president Barack Obama has secluded himself in a small hotel room where he will watch every Rocky movie ever made – twice.

Advisors to the president say he typically prepares for every big debate or speech by watching at least one film form the classic Sylvester Stallone boxing series.

Obama skipped this ritual two weeks ago, however, when a national security meeting occupied his schedule ahead of the first debate in Denver.

After his lackluster performance in that contest, the superstitious Obama has decided to take no chances for the repeat match at Hofstra University in upstate New York tomorrow.

Ain’t All Sunshine and Rainbows

The president’s chief communications officer David Axelrod says the “Balaboa Strategy” is almost always effective.

“He did a 6 hour marathon before the night of the Iowa caucuses, and he won. He did an 8 hour marathon the night before he Hillary dropped out. And he did a 12 hour marathon the day before we got Bin Laden. It’s a tried and tested method.”

However, Axelrod cautions that sometimes the strategy can work too well, sending Obama into a righteous rage:

“One night after a 14 hour marathon he drove to Eric Cantor‘s house and busted his windshield with a cricket bat. I didn’t even know he had a cricket bat. Eventually we figured out it was a gift from the Prime Minister of India.”

“So I am a bit concerned. Rocky can turn Obama into a ruthless Republican thrashing machine. I’m worried if he goes the full 24 hours he might end up dropkicking Romney in the face or something before the debate even starts.”

“But that’s a risk we’re willing to take.”

 

Previous articleBiden Calls Ryan’s Mother to Apologize For Ass-Kicking
Next articleO’Donnell Casts Spell, Promises Romney Debate Victory

Leave a Reply

huzlers