Petition Demands Obama ‘Not Be A Pussy’ on Gun Control

Obama_TiredAn online petition demanding that President Obama ‘not be a pussy’ on gun control has garnered over 50,000 signatures on the White House’s website.

The petition urges President Obama in no uncertain terms to overcome his fear of the electoral consequences and pass more stringent gun measures.

The president has often espoused an interest in more regulations on firearms; however, he has not proposed a single new law since he has been in office. This inaction came despite the fact that five of the 12 deadliest gun massacres in U.S. history have taken place during his first term.

This Is (Not) Sparta

Faced with yet another horrendous shooting, many are beginning to demand Obama take a tougher line. Jake Anderson, a doctor from Evansville, Ill., says the time for action is now:

“As a candidate he said he was for an assault weapons ban, and yet after four years he’s done nothing. Shooting after shooting keeps happening. And still nothing. Its time him to stop being such a pussy about this.”

Jennifer Winkler, a women’s studies major at Smith College in Massachusetts, says she’s also tired of Obama’s weakness on the issue:

“I just wish he’d grow a pair of balls and actually do something. Obama’s like one of those guys who act all confident at the bar, but when you bring him back to your place they just want to cuddle and talk about their mommy. Pathetic! Just take charge. Be a fucking man and get this thing done already.”

Zero Spark Thirty

Even supporters of gun rights are signing the petition, saying they too are sick of Obama acting like a little bitch. Jason Charles, a lifelong gun owner from North Carolina, says just can’t take anymore of the president’s cowardice:

“I support the second amendment and don’t think we need more gun control laws. But I still think Obama should stop being a pussy about gun control. I mean if you believe in something, then you should own it. Don’t equivocate and try to have it both ways.”

The success of the petition echos a reawakening of the gun control movement in recent months. Democratic Sen. Dianne Feinstein of California has promised to introduce legislation in the Senate reinstating the Clinton-era assault rifle ban.

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