Boehner Blasts ‘Morons’ In Tea Party

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Boehner Blasts ‘Morons’ In Tea Party

screen_shot_2010-09-08_at_12.47.42_pmOne day after suffering a humiliating legislative defeat at the hands of his own caucus, Speaker of the House John Boehner has come out swinging, calling Tea Party congresspeople ‘morons’ and ‘Neanderthals’.

During a live telephone interview with his hometown newspaper, The Dayton Daily Press, Boehner lashed out at his party’s ‘extreme views’ on taxes that are blocking a compromise deal to avoid the fiscal cliff, and promised to force a solution on his members. 

Asked about how he felt about the Tea Party Republicans who blocked a vote on his fiscal cliff bill yesterday because it would raise taxes on people making over $1 million a year, Boehner finally let out his frustration with the extremists to his right:

“I think these people are complete morons,” replied Boehner, “Its not a question of conservative versus moderate anymore. Its a question of who’s functionally retarded and who’s not.”

“Yes I would love to live in a world where taxes are at 0%, the deficit is eliminated and everybody’s grandma gets free healthcare and a $10,000 a month Social Security check. But unlike my clozapine deprived friends in the Tea Party, I live in a place called reality.”

No Taxes Without Aggravation 

Coming out of his shell after two years of constant frustration, Boehner argued that conservative Tea Party Republicans have a distorted sense of their own importance and power:

“I mean who do these people think they are? They lost the election. Badly. The presidential race wasn’t even close, and the Democrats got more votes in the House, even if we won more seats.”

“I’m trying to get the best deal I can with the leverage I have, and these Neanderthals are blocking me at every turn. My job would be a lot easier if I had a Republican Senate to work with – which we would have had were it not for the Tea Party and their joker candidates.”

“And yet these people act like they’ve just won a landslide. Some idiot named Justin Amash came up to me the other day and actually suggested I ask Obama to repeal Obamacare as a condition of raising the debt ceiling.”

“You got that? The loser of the election is supposed to ask the winner to repeal his biggest legislative accomplishment or else we’ll default on our debt. I asked Justin then and there to check into rehab. Because that’s some powerful crack he must be smoking.”

Boehner says he won’t allow the Tea Party to take the country off the fiscal cliff, and will ally with Democrats in the House if need be to get a deal done:

“I’m a deeply conservative Republican and I don’t want to see taxes go up any more than they have to. But I’d rather work with Nancy Pelosi than some of these idiots, and if I need to I will.”

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