67581_5_Long absent from the national agenda, the issue of compensating African-Americans for their ancestors’ time in servitude is poised to become a hot-button issue in President Obama’s second term.

According to key White House adviser Valerie Jarrett, the Obama administration will take a ‘very serious look’ at the issue of reparations over the next year, and hopes to offer the nation’s 40 million African Americans a large cash payout in early 2014. 

Speaking candidly to Jet Magazine, Jarrett says that black Americans are entitled to receive the wages never paid to their ancestors and that the issue has become a ‘top priority’ within Obama’s inner circle.

“A lot of naive white and Latino people assume that Obama is in office to serve their interests,” Jarrett admits,”But those of us who speak with the President every day know that his loyalties lie squarely and exclusively within our community.”

“We’ve been waiting 150  years for our 40 acres and a mule. And guess what? We demand to be paid – with interest.”

More Money, Less Problems

According to the interview, a special White House task force has been established with the mission of determining the fair level of compensation and the best way to disburse the money.

“So far we’re leaning towards the neighborhood of $100,000 made in a one time cash payment,” Jarrett explains.

The total cost of such a program will be approximately $4 trillion dollars. But despite the high price tag, Jarrett says that the program will be paid for in full through new revenues.

“It would be unfair to impose this burden on people whose ancestors never owned slaves or whose ancestors immigrated to this country after the Civil War,” she argues, “Therefore we’ll be placing a special tax on Southern whites to pay for this spending.”

“If you eat grits for breakfast, drink sweet tea, or have Jeff Foxworthy albums on cassette tape in your car – you’ll be getting a bill from us. And If you know who Larry the Cable Guy is, you’ll be facing an extra surcharge.”

Jarrett admits that in the likely event that Congress will refuse to act, President Obama will institute his reparations program through executive order.

“We spent $5 trillion in the first term on Republican priorities like tax cuts for big business and bailing out their country club friends on Wall Street. We’re not gonna let Congress stop us from spending another $4 trillion. After all, this time its for a good cause.”

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