The Deputy Prime Minister of the United Kingdom claimed today that he is “supremely talented” at performing orally upon women.
In an exclusive, wide-ranging interview with The Daily Currant, Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg boasts that he has performed the act “over 500 times” and now considers himself an expert in the practice.
He also believes that Britain should stay at the heart of the European Union, and that proportional representation is inevitable in the House of Commons.
The stunningly frank interview bears echos of Clegg’s infamous 2008 exchange with men’s magazine GQ in which boasted of having slept with “no more than 30” women and rated himself an above average lover.
Extracts from today’s interview appear below.
DC: Prime Minister David Cameron recently announced his intention to hold a referendum on Britain’s future in the European Union. What is your position on the right for Britons to decide their own role in Europe?
NC: Well, I certainly feel that the referendum is a mistake. Britain has benefited enormously from its membership in the EU, and we should be moving closer to our friends on the continent, not further away.
DC: But what is your objection to a referendum? Shouldn’t citizens decide this issue for themselves?
NC: Well no actually. We live in a republic, not a democracy. Our elected leaders should decide these matters because unlike voters they aren’t entirely hostage to the whims of the moment. Imagine if we had held a majority vote on going to war with Germany or the decolonisation of India. Sometimes referendums simply aren’t the right choice.
DC: Nick, you’ve been very open about your sexual history in the past. You’ve admitted that you’ve slept with around 30 women, for example. So our readers would love to know, what’s your favorite sex act and why?
NC: First let me start by saying that I appreciate all sexual practices. Vaginal penetration, anal experimentation, and oral satisfaction all have a place in my sexual repertoire. If I absolutely had to choose a favorite, however, I would have to say that performing oral sex on a woman is the sex act I enjoy most.
DC: That’s an interesting choice. Why do you prefer giving?
NC: I suppose you could say that like most politicians I am a natural people-pleaser.
DC: Do you have any tips for our readers on how to perform cunnilingus properly to maximize satisfaction?
NC: Yes, the key to a good cunnilingus session is diversity in licking motions. You have to vary soft, loving licks with hard, animalistic tongue thrusts. Don’t forget to put your primary focus on the clitoris, while still being careful not to overstimulate. Personally, I think it’s important to listen to a woman’s body as you’re pleasuring her. Try to imagine what she wants next.
DC Your plan to introduce proportional representation into Parliament failed spectacularly. Will you try again to move Britain away from the first-past-the-post model? Or are you satisfied with the status quo?
NC Well the Liberal Democrats are certainly not happy with the status quo. Our current system of electing parliament is vastly undemocratic. A party can get 20 percent of the vote, and yet only 5 percent of the seats. I am convinced that Britain will one day realize that proportional representation is a necessary feature of a modern democracy.
Nick Clegg is the longtime leader of the pro-European Liberal Democratic party, and currently serves as Deputy Prime Minister as the minority partner in a coalition government with the Conservative Party.