Chris-Brown-300x223Singer Chris Brown joined the Republican Party today, citing its stances on homosexuality and women’s rights as motivation.

In an interview with E! news in New York, the controversial recording artist explained that he’s become more politically aware in the past few months and was amazed to discover how much he and Republicans have in common.

“I didn’t even know anything about politics,” Brown explained, “but my business manager said I should start making charitable and political donations for tax purposes. So I started researching all about the parties and the candidates. And it turns out these Republicans are for real!

“The GOP, they’re all about puttin’ women back in their place. Makin’ them submit. Just being like ‘Bitch, make me a sandwich’. And I love that. Its old school. You don’t hear that enough nowadays.

“And they’re legit with the gays too. Its like who wants to see that s**t? Ain’t nobody wanna see two dudes making out in a church. Keep it to yourselves.”

You, Me on the Convention Floor

Chris Brown is a multi-platinum recording artist known for hits like Kiss Kiss, With You and Forever and for dating the much more successful female singer Rihanna.

It is his notoriously rocky relationship with that Barbados-born performer which has kept him in the news in recent years. He has repeatedly made misogynistic comments regarding the relationship and was convicted in 2009 for a brutal domestic violence incident.

While he says he believes in a balanced budget, sound money and a strong military, Brown says it was his struggles with the law that most informed his decision to become a Republican.

“For me, the key moment was when I found out the Republicans tried to stop the Violence Against Women Act,” he explains. “I was like ‘Hell ya, these motherf**kers got my back!’

“Where I come from if somebody steps ups and fights for you, then you got a duty to pay them back. So I’m joining up, and I’ll be campaigning for all the candidates in 2014.

“We gotta hold the House, take back the Senate. I just hope my boy Todd Akin gets back in the game. He’s gotta run for something next year, he’s such an important voice in the movement.”

Brown said he mailed his GOP registration card this morning, and has already cut a $10,000 check to the Republican National Committee.

He also promised to use his massive presence on social media to help raise funds and campaign for “pro-men” and “pro-straight” conservative candidates.

“I really like this guy Scott DesJarlais,” he said, referring to the Tennessee Republican representative who had multiple affairs with his medical patients and pressured both his wife and a mistress to have abortions. “He knows how to treat a bitch right.”


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