NASA Says Washington D.C. Once Hosted Intelligent Life

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NASA Says Washington D.C. Once Hosted Intelligent Life

shuttle037b_1334689201One government agency is letting the world know it isn’t happy with the way Congress has handled the government shutdown.

On its first day back to work today, NASA issued a press release claiming its scientists have found that Washington, D.C. once supported intelligent life.

“While on mandatory furlough some of our employees were looking for a new project,” reads a statement posted to its website. “These researchers had been looking for intelligent life on other planets, and decided to turn their attention to the situation in Washington.

“According to their preliminary research, the area around the Potomac River once supported intelligent creatures capable of compromise, maturity and foresight. These beings created a great civilization with fantastic achievements in civil rights, social welfare, science, the arts and technology.

“Unfortunately this enlightened species seems to have died out slowly over the past few decades, and more primitive lifeforms have taken their place. We are unable to determine the cause of this extinction at this time.”

To Boldly Go

Republicans in the House of Representatives shutdown the U.S. government on Oct. 1 in an effort to defund the Affordable Care Act, President Obama’s signature health care reform popularly known has Obamacare.

The 17-day government shutdown is estimated to have cost the American economy $24 billion as government agencies closed up and contractors cut wages and laid off employees.

NASA, America’s space agency, was more affected than most with 97 percent of its 18,250 employees placed on mandatory furlough and several important research projects halted.

Yet despite widespread anger in the organization, a spokesperson said that today’s press release was an accident and did not reflect the views of the agency.

“Today’s press release was the work of a few rogue employees. The leadership of NASA has the utmost respect for Congress and admires its extraordinarily wise decision to shut down the government.”

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