DHARMA2The secretive scientific research organization known as “The Dharma Initiative” has denied responsibility for the disappearance of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370.

In a statement released today on the group’s website, Dharma’s CEO Hugh McIntyre said that despite the similarities between this case and that of the infamous Oceanic Flight 815, the two incidents do not share a common cause.

“Given our track record, it is perhaps not surprising that people are pointing the finger at us,” the statement reads, “but this time it really wasn’t us. We are as confused about the disappearance of Flight MH 370 as the general public.

“Just because a Boeing 777 took off on a long-haul flight, changed course unexpectedly and wound up somewhere off the coast of Indonesia does NOT mean that we were involved.

“The Dharma Initiative has come a long way since the days when we lured international flights to deserted islands that cannot be seen by the outside world. Please stop calling us. Please stop emailing us. Please stop spamming our Twitter feed. We are NOT responsible for this disappearance.”

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Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 was en route from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing when it mysteriously disappeared without a trace last Saturday. Search and rescue teams have been combing the seas surrounding Malaysia for days and have yet to find a single piece of wreckage.

Today it was revealed that the plane made a drastic change to its flight path without informing ground controllers and was last seen on radar in the Malacca strait between Peninsular Malaysia and the Indonesian island of Sumatra.

The details of the case bring to mind Oceanic Flight 815, a Sydney to Los Angeles flight in which another 777 disappeared without a trace Sept. 22, 2004. Six passengers on that flight were eventually rescued off the Indonesia island of Membanta.

“From what I can tell there is no connection between our experience and the Malaysian flight,” says Hugo “Hurley” Reyes, a survivor of Oceanic Flight 815. “But it is very suspicious. If there’s one thing I learned on the island, it’s that the Dharma Initiative is capable of anything.”

A spokesperson for Malaysia’s Department of Civil Aviation says that Dharma is unlikely to be involved, but that “nothing has been ruled out” at this point in the investigation.$$$

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