John McCain Calls for Invading Belgium

John McCain Joins Sharron Angle At Get Out The Vote Rally In Las VegasArizona Sen. John McCain has called for the bombing and invasion of Belgium in retaliation for its 2-1 defeat of the United States at the World Cup.

“Belgium is a rogue state whose outrageous behavior at the World Cup was a show of aggression toward the United States, for which President Obama must respond immediately with military force,” McCain told Fox News this morning. “In fact, I believe that anything less than a swift invasion and regime change in Belgium would show weakness to our enemies.

“The time for diplomacy has passed. We owe it to our dedicated soccer players, who sacrificed too much while Obama showed poor leadership and let the game end before we could win.”

TinTin Boom Boom

McCain, an outspoken Republican war hawk who frequently calls for military action against foreign countries for any reason, outlined his plan for the invasion and takeover of Belgium, with the United States military leading the charge.

“Once we get the United Nations to enforce a no-fly zone over Belgium, we would begin a series of airstrikes on major military targets and cities, which should be a good start,” McCain said. “Belgium is about the size of Maryland, so I don’t foresee a full-scale invasion taking longer than a few days — two, three tops.”

McCain said he and South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham, a close McCain BFF, have been in contact with Dutch-speaking separatists in Belgium’s Flanders region who are trying to break from the poorer south.

“We reached out to the Flemish freedom fighters of Belgium to offer U.S. support for their independence, and they were very open to the idea,” McCain said. “So we told them to have their government ready to go as soon as we hand power back to them.”

League change

McCain also suggested the U.S. should order FIFA, the Switzerland-based organization that oversees the World Cup, to step aside and hand over the World Cup to Major League Soccer, which oversees professional soccer in the United States and Canada.

“I’ve never trusted the Swiss,” he said, “and frankly, FIFA is a liability, while Major League Soccer has repeatedly demonstrated it is a strong ally to the United States.”

When asked if military action was irrational, given that Belgium just defeated the U.S. in a friendly sporting match, McCain dismissed the idea.

“In my entire life I have never made an irrational decision that has cost me something,” he said. “I mean, go on: name one. Name one at all.”

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