Kanye Scores 106 Points Against Wheelchair Basketball Team

kanyebasketballcharityA charity basketball game didn’t go exactly as planned yesterday when Kanye West scored 106 points against a team of handicapped children in wheelchairs.

The game was a PR move intended to smooth over the controversy that erupted this week between Kanye and the disabled community. At one of his concerts recently West repeatedly asked wheelchaired fans to stand, and refused to apologize for his mistake afterwards.

The Basketball Wheelchair Charity for Cancer event pitted disabled middle school children against Kanye and his entourage. Kanye’s team seemed hesitant to play as hard since they were not also in wheelchairs as originally planned.

Organizers said, “Both teams were supposed to be playing in wheelchairs but Kanye’s camp said Mr. West would be playing the ‘normal’ way.” The kids were initially excited to play basketball with one of their favorite musicians but once the game started, they knew it wasn’t going to be fun.

Eighth grader Tommy Smith told reporters, “We play with shorter basketball hoops and he was dunking all over us. The smack talk got out of hand and some of our players started crying.”

Disabled sports has seen a huge increase in athletes as technology and funding has improved. With international leagues and national leagues, wheelchair basketball has become the most popular Paralympic sport.

Smith, who dreams of playing in the National Wheelchair Basketball Association when he grows up, noted, “He was supposed to be playing in a wheelchair too so it would be fair. I bet we would have won that way since we are use to playing like that. He told us ‘Why use a chair when I can use my legs?’ Our coach asked officials why he wasn’t playing fair but they said that’s how it was.”

After a tomahawk slam dunk that sent the basketball into seventh grader’s Peter Hill’s face, Kanye began yelling at the kid. “How do you like that? How do you like that? Sit before the great and powerful Yeezus.”

One of West’s entourage members told him to take it “easy” on the kids but this only infuriated the 5-foot-8 hip hop star.

“Take it easy! Take it easy! Not me, not Kanye! I do everything one thousand percent! You know that!” Kanye was heard yelling during a timeout.

The stunned crowd continued to watch the game in the name of charity but several parents grew upset by the actions of West. Fred Skilling, whose sixth-grade son, Sam, left the court crying, took him and his friend home after the first quarter.

As more parents took their children out of the game Kanye began yelling, “Quitters! Quitters! Quitters!” followed by laughter. Another parent was heard saying, “The guy donates five thousand dollars and he thinks it gives him the right to do anything he wants.”

After the game, West told the media, “I set out to break Wilt Chamberlain’s record of points in one game and that’s what I did. It was for a good cause and I couldn’t be happier with my play.”

The game ended in a score of 112 to 14. Kanye is said to have placed an order for championship rings to be made through Leon Jewelers of Beverly Hills.

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