White Swipe: A New Dating App Only For White People

160810576White Swipe, a new dating app for white supremacists will soon be released.

The app’s creator, Ronald James Hutchinson IV, says his creation will be “like Tinder but for pure white-breads.” After a round of successful Beta testing, it is expected to hit app stores next month. 

“Studies have shown that people on dating websites and apps are racists anyway, so why not monetize that?” Hutchinson explained. “White Supremacists date too. There’s a black people meet, what about the white people?”

Hutchinson got the idea when he was on Tinder. “I found myself swiping left constantly, and getting so many Asians and blacks, or even worse, I’d think some hottie just had a bad spray tan, then on the date I’d find out she was a quarter native American and I’d be completely turned off. It’s not that I’m racist, white girls are just my type. Most people lie on dating websites, white swipe is all about being honest, as long as you believe in white power.”

Wesley Herman, who used White Swipe in its beta testing, is a big fan of the app. “You can even choose your level of whiteness, which is great, there’s ‘Connecticut,’ ‘Whole Foods Only,’ ‘Trust fund’ and even ‘Owns A Horse.’ It’s nice to finally find a dating app that really gets me.”

White Swipe has a rigorous screening policy that requires blood samples to insure members whiteness. “This isn’t just a dating website, it’s for creating pure families as God intended. It’s Adam and Eve, not Adam and Beyonce,” said Hutchinson. While the app is free, it’s only available on the iPhone 6 Plus.

White Is Right

Naturally this app is getting backlash. Many are calling it “racist,” “inhumane” or “the second coming of the holocaust.” Its angel investor, singer-songwriter John Mayer, has been defending the app on his  twitter account. Mayer is known for his infamous Playboy interview where he was quoted on calling his penis a “white supremacist.” A statement he now says is, “still very much true.”

“We are truly blessed to have Mayer on board,” Hutchinson said in a recent press conference. “I remember reading that interview years ago and it stuck with me, because I am the same. Look, it’s not racist, it’s just preference. Just like Jews want to marry other Jews, I want marry someone who also believes that white people are the dominant race, so I can have a purebred white son. America is unfortunately a melting pot and white people are the minority. We have to stick together.”

“I think white swipe is great,” said newly single Mayer. “The only more efficient way of meeting this many white people is going to one of my concerts.”

Hutchinson is excited about the future of the app and is even on it himself.

“I sometimes go on and try to help users with their profiles. I’ll give them pointers like ‘Crop out your black friend,’ or ‘Maybe get rid of that one where you’re trying to twerk,’ or the foolproof pointer, ‘More photos on your yacht.’ I really see this as giving back to the White Swipe community.”

But despite the nature of his app, Hutchinson himself is still single.

“I hope one day I can meet someone who loves white power as much as I do, and hopefully she has a trust fund, because my parents have cut me off.”

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