Republicans Building Gun Range Inside Capitol Building

photo-range-3After sweeping the midterm elections, Republican Mitch McConnell of Kentucky announced today the construction of a 2,000-square-foot gun range in the basement of the Capitol building in Washington, D.C.

In a speech to the National Rifle Association this morning, the next Senate majority leader told the crowd that the new project — which will cost taxpayers $37 million — will help secure America’s Second Amendment rights.

“I’m proud to announce we have broke ground on our new gun range,” he said. “The people wanted it and now it’s going to happen.”

“We’ll be able to shoot off some rounds to let go of some stress,” he added, “and we’ll be opening it to the American people, so that everyday citizens can fire deadly weapons inside the halls of our democracy, just like the founders intended.”

The two underground stories will hold 80 gun shooting lanes, complete with automatic targets and soundproof walls. Any member of Congress can bring his or her own gun or rent one of the NRA-donated weapons. The massive space will also include a cigar bar, massage lounge, and a spa.

“We’ve spent a lot of time designing and planning this gun range,” McConnell continued. “Dreaming of construction has been our biggest focus since the last elections.”

A reporter asked McConnell if this non-political project was worth their time, to which he replied, “It will be a great place for the boys to get work done. It’s like golf but we get to shoot stuff.”

McConnell won by over 16 percent against Democratic challenger Alison Lundergan Grimes. After a hard-fought victory, it appears he is ready to relax and enjoy the spoils of office.

“We have worked very hard to beat the Democrats in these elections so it’s something we definitely deserve,” he said. “The American people should be proud and even prouder when the gun range is up and firing. The public can sleep well at home knowing we are practicing our hundred and fifty foot shot and hitting bulls-eyes.”

Former President Nixon built a bowling alley in the White House and it “worked out pretty good for him,” McConnell noted.

Construction has already broke ground and is estimated to be finished in time for the new congressmen to take the oath of office. Renowned gun range architect Art Vandelay designed the facility and a Halliburton subsidiary is doing construction.

“That’s how fast this Republican Congress will move,” McConnell said. “We hope to hear from President Obama every once in a while.”

Asked if President Obama will be invited to the opening ceremony for the new state of art gun range, McConnell joked, “If Obama comes down here, he’ll require extra secret service.”

Obama was asked by reporters on what he thought about the gun range, to which he replied, “I lowered unemployment, the stock market is soaring to record heights, and health care is now affordable to all. And how did the American people reward me? With a gun range in the basement of the Capitol building.”

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