Bears Trade Jay Cutler To Redskins For RGIII

cutler_rg3_trade_redskins_bearsThe National Football League (NFL) was rocked today by the puzzling trade of Chicago Bears’ quarterback Jay Cutler for the Washington Redskins’ Robert Griffin III.

Bears owner Virginia McCaskey facilitated the bizarre swap, which is designed to give both teams a successful franchise quarterback by moving mediocre players to new cities.

“I wasn’t going to wait for a new general manager but I saw what needed to be done and pulled the trigger,” McCaskey told The Chicago Tribune. “I’ve been in this league long enough to know what to do.

“Sometimes a crazy deal is what’s needed and this is that time. Trust me, we’ve had worse quarterbacks in Chicago.

Impatient with a new coaching and manager search, McCaskey said, “I couldn’t stand to see Jay smoke one more cigarette in a Bears uniform. Plus I hear RG III is a great leader in the locker room.”

For his part, Washington Redskins owner Dan Snyder told The Washington Post, “This trade will serve three purposes. First, we can get rid of a useless running style quarterback. Second, the controversial trade will get people off out back for using the name Redskins. And third, we gain a quarterback  that can throw longer than thirty yards.

“Also we heard that Cutler is a real leader in the locker room. We’ve been missing that.”

The move makes little sense, according to ESPN’s football analyst John Clayton: “You are trading one bum QB for another bum QB. Maybe in some alternate reality, it makes sense.

“You never know in this league; maybe these guys need a fresh start to regain their confidence and composure. I doubt it but what do either team have to lose? I guess each team will be able to sell a more jerseys. Maybe that was the point to begin with.”

Cutler, who signed a $127 million contract this past off season, failed to progress in his his eighth NFL season. Robert Griffin has only had three seasons in the NFL but his on field performance has declined since his rookie year when he tore his ACL during his first playoff game. Cutler did make a playoff appearance in 2010 but did not live up to Bear fans’ expectations by exiting the game against the Seattle Seahawks due to a “hair splitting” injury.

Cutler himself seems supportive of the move.

“I hear they have some great tobacconists in D.C.,” he told ESPN. “I would love to play in a city that offers a wide selection of rare and imported cigs.”

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