Greece celebrated securing billions in new bailout funds yesterday by throwing an enormous $142 million public beach party outside Athens.
According to local reports an estimated 430,000 people attended the massive all-day event, which the Greek government organized to “relieve national stress” caused by protracted bailout negotiations with the EU and IMF.
Rapper Kanye West was paid $2 million to host the extravaganza, which also featured performances by Madonna, 50 Cent, The Rolling Stones, Lady Gaga, P. Diddy, Snoop Dogg, One Direction, Beyoncé, Ariana Grande, Drake, Taylor Swift, and Katy Perry.
The festivities were catered by Michelin-starred chef Thomas Keller, who was flown in on a private jet from San Francisco to oversee the menu. No expense was spared in feeding the nearly half-million partygoers gathered on the sparkinlg shores of the Mediterranean.
“The foie gras was amazing,” says Alexander Antoni, an unemployed bricklayer from Rhodes, “But I think my favorite dish was the truffle-scented lobster. I had four plates. I couldn’t help myself, it was so delicious.”
Gourmet food wasn’t the only indulgence on offer. Free cigarettes, alcohol and even packages of pre-rolled marijuana joints were also available to the revelers.
The quality of the cannabis impressed even Snoop Dogg, who while onstage performing his latest album took time out to thank “Germany and Angela Merkel” for providing “some dank ass weed.”
The night was capped off with a $18 million dollar fireworks and laser show, which the Guinness Book of World Records has certified as the largest of its kind ever.
The lavish party has attracted criticism from some prudish elements of the German newsmedia, who question if such an event is a prudent use of European taxpayer money. However, Prime Minister Alexis Tsipras was quick to dismiss such concerns.
“When you look at the size of our debt, $142 million really isn’t that much money,” he told a local newspaper, “Besides, we purchased over $10 million worth of the finest wines from France, Germany, Italy and Spain. This isn’t just a party. We’re stimulating the entire European economy.”
The Greek government is also considering hiring a German waste management firm to help clean up the mess left behind.