Sarah Palin Licks Frozen Flagpole in Iowa, Gets Stuck

Sarah Palin has reportedly been stuck for several hours after licking a frozen flagpole outside a rally in Des Moines, Iowa this morning.

According to witnesses on the scene, the former Alaska governor traced the pole with her tongue “to see what would happen”. Her tongue quickly froze to the metal, and has been cemented ever since.

Several attempts to free Palin using hot coffee and tea have failed. Emergency crews have arrived on the scene and are currently strategizing the best course of action to liberate her tongue without causing permanent damage.  

“Every once in awhile we come across a toddler who does something similar,” says one local first responder. ”But in my 35 years as an EMT,  I’ve never seen this happen to an adult.”

Palin was reportedly shaking hands and signing autographs after the rally when she became entranced by the shininess of the pole. Unable to pull herself away, she proceeded to lick the pole to see what made it shine.

Users on social media have been sharing photographs of the ordeal with #palinpop and #brainfreeze.

Although Palin is not widely known for her intelligence, her newfound depth of stupidiy has shocked even her own political supporters.

“I know Sarah Palin isn’t the brightest politician in the world,” says one Iowa Republican attending the rally. “But you would think that being from Alaska she would at least understand the concept of metal being cold.”

For obvious reasons Palin herself has been hitherto unable to comment on her ordeal. However, in a recent Facebook post her daughter Bristol Palin blamed “Obama not supporting the troops” for the incident. 

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