Casual Sex Up 83% Since Obamacare

casualsexobamacareA new study published today finds that casual sex has increased 83% since Obamacare took effect in January.

Writing in the prestigious Nature Harlotology researchers from Stanford University demonstrated that better access to contraception has made women much more likely to have multiple, short-term sexual partners.

“The effect has been dramatic,” says Dr. William Johnson, the lead researcher on the study,“Casual sex has become the new norm across the country. Now that women have slightly cheaper access to birth control, their sexual appetites have become insatiable.

“In certain younger cities like Portland and Denver women are averaging 4 sexual partners a week. Men don’t have to try anymore. They just show up at bars and point to whichever girl they want to take home.”

The Affordable Care Act, popularly known as Obamacare, requires employers to provide contraceptive coverage for women. The provision has been controversial amongst religious conservatives, who successfully sued to be exempted from the employer mandate.

Opposition to the administration’s stance is at least partly based on the assumption that contraception leads to looser sexual mores, which conflict with Christian theology.

“Before Obamacare I lived with my long-term boyfriend Peter,” says study participant Jennifer Robinson, 28 , ”I thought he was my soulmate. We were planning on getting married and starting a family.

“But now that Obama’s paying for my contraception, I feel like I should sleep with as many men as possible. Just last night I fucked 12 guys in an alley behind a 7-11. And tomorrow I’m going to get DPed for the first time by some people I met on Tinder. Thanks Obama!”

The study also noted a surprising increase in interracial sex. In just six months the percentage of white women who have had at least one sexual partner of another race has skyrocketed from 9% to 34%

“Ever since I signed up for Obamacare, I’ve been increasingly attracted to black guys,” says Holly Anderson, a gorgeous 6’1” blond from Kansas City,”I’ve been sleeping with black men exclusively now for the past two months and I don’t think I’ll ever go back.”

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