Currant Daily is a satirical online newspaper. None of the information contained herein should be considered accurate. It should, however, be humorous.
The Lakers Suck So Goddamn Bad And I Love It And So Should You First he kinda just goes to sleep and lets Markieff Morris walk to the restricted area for a catch and dunk at 0:06. Then, at 0:35, he gets caught trying to figure out what his favorite color is, while Markieff jogs past him in a pick and roll for another catch and dunk. Then, at 0:53, he gets scored over in transition by little ass Isaiah Thomas because he’s too braindead to stop the ball in transition and too soft to consider genuinely contesting the shot. At 2:20, Kobe funnels Marcus Morris to the baseline, where he expects Boozer to rotate over and protect the rim; Boozer, for his part, is all, “Nah,” and Morris gets an easy layup. At 2:28, he comes out too high on Anthony Tolliver, doesn’t recognize the back screen until too late, and then just kinda stands there while Green flies by him for an alley oop. At 3:07, Isaiah Thomas drives straight at him; authentic saints mark ingram mens jersey Boozer just kinda waves his arms like he’s signaling to a rescue chopper, authentic jamie collins youth jersey then thoughtfully steps aside. At 3:48, he loses track of one of the Morris twins again and gives up a wide open three. And so on. (It’s authentic caleb sturgis mens jersey OK if you stopped watching by that point; you’ve already seen more than Carlos Boozer did.) It’s been a long time since Boozer wasn’t a horrendous defensive player; even the past couple of seasons on Tom Thibodeau’s defense minded Bulls, he usually couldn’t be bothered to muster more than an occasional Effort Face larry csonka mens jersey at that end. He doesn’t even bother with the Effort Face anymore. He is the :expressionless: emoji at authentic saints brandon browner womens jersey the defensive end, now, both facially and in the sense that neither he nor the :expressionless: emoji moves, at all, ever. The Lakers could scarcely do worse at the defensive end if they replaced him with a mop bucket with “CARLOS BOOZER” written on it. Depending on the circumference of the bucket, it might at least record a couple of steals if opposing players dribbled the ball into it.