Trump Kills Kitten on Live Television, Expands Lead

TrumpMany political pundits wrote off Donald Trump’s presidential ambitions after he killed rival Jeb Bush’s pet kitten on live television Saturday.

But a new poll released today shows that the eccentric billionaire now leads the GOP field by an even greater margin than before.

Trump shocked the world this weekend when he appeared at a rally in Eugene, Oregon and executed Spottles, a baby feline owned by his nemesis Jeb Bush. Although the move outraged the political establishment and animal rights activists, Republican primary voters were apparently impressed.

According to the national survey from TDC Opinion Research, Trump now has the support of 53% of likely Republican voters, up from 32% before the incident. Ben Carson trails at 13%, while the rest of the field is in single digits.

“I thought it was badass,” says Justin Anderson, one of the poll’s respondents, “We need a president that’s not afraid to take decisive action.

“Jeb was talking smack, so Trump stole his cat and killed it in front of millions of people. Can you imagine what he’d do to ISIS? That’s the kind of leadership we need in this country.”

“Finally, someone has the guts to be politically incorrect,” says Jamie Patterson, a homemaker from West Virginia, “The liberal media always says ‘you can’t kill pets while running for president’? Well why not? God kills pets all the time.”

Trump has defied political gravity since beginning his campaign for president, rising in the polls after saying and doing things which would ordinarily doom a candidacy. That trend shows no sign of abating.

In a related development, the poll also has Jeb Bush’s support falling to less than 1%, as Republican voters now view the former Florida governor as a ‘loser’ and a ‘pussy’.

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